Pandemic Poetry: Go Back to Work

Go Back to Work 

So I don't resent you 

for not helping me. 

Behind the Poem 

My husband isn't working from home anymore, and this is good for our marriage. If he is in the house, I want him to help me with the parenting tasks that I don't love doing. If there's a poopsplosion, I want him to deal with it. He can also empty the potty after lunch, wipe the toddler's face, get her more food, etc. I can always think of just one more thing that would be really helpful, but he has to work, you know, like, at his paying job. That's what he's supposed to be doing during the workday. 

If I'm alone, I know I have to run the show-- there's no other option-- so the internal complaining doesn't even happen. It's like killing spiders. If I'm the only person there, I kill the spider. But if anyone else is there, I ask them to do it. 

Let's be real: I am the best at running the show. I know what my kids need and when they need it. But I also dread the responsibility. Sometimes on a Sunday night I feel relieved that tomorrow I will be back in control and be able to do everything my way, and sometimes I feel dread and fear. What are we going to do tomorrow? How am I going to make it through the day? It's like all the other weeks before this one never happened. Monday is the first solo day of my life as a mom, but it's not. I've made it through many solo days, some better than others, and some with more challenges than I'm facing right now, even in a pandemic. 

When I was a freshman in college, my roommate arrived first and set up our entire room before I got there. She put up sappy quotes all over the walls. My roommate and I worked it out and rearranged the space after I explained how much I hate sappy quotes. I hate reading them, looking at them, feeling their judgments telling me what to think and how to feel all the time. To me, it's just a bunch of noise. BUT, if I ever did buy one of those plaques, it would be one that said, "You've Got This, Mama." That's the reminder that I need to have confidence in myself. 

When the doubts start creeping in and I wish someone else could do this work, I remember one of my favorite passages from Little Women. When the girls assume that Marmee must be suffering because of how much she misses Father, Marmee tells them about her "better Helper and Comforter" who is always with her. That's the truth-- God the Holy Spirit is a better helper and comforter even than a husband. He won't change this diaper, but he will be with me while I do it. 

In the hard or lonely times, let's remember what we've already overcome as moms, believe in ourselves, and lean on our "better Helper and Comforter" to get us through. With his help, we've got this.