Choices by Lewis Smedes, Chapter 4 "Respect the Rules," Part Two

Posted by Sarah M. White 

Thanks for tuning in for part two of "Respect the Rules." This half is all about knowing which rules are essential and must be followed and which ones we can disregard at times. How do we rank the many rules that we interact with on a daily basis? Which rules are absolute and which are relative? 

He compares the rules of life to rules of games and sports. He breaks the rules of a game down into four categories: rules of every game, rules of a particular game, rules of strategy, and rules of propriety (53-54). 

Rules of Every Game 

In a game setting, the absolute rules are to play fair and play to win. In the game of life, the two cardinal, absolute rules are the rules of love and justice. Love means that we care for people, and justice means that we are fair to people. Every family needs both love and justice to thrive. Smedes describes the rules of love and justice working together to inform our choices in situations where love compels us to act, but fairness dictates that we must help or act in a way that is fair (56). 

Rules of Particular Games

Examples of rules of particular games include honesty as a rule for the game of communication, fidelity as a rule for marriage, and not stealing as a rule for private and public property. These rules are almost absolute; sometimes there are situational exceptions. Smedes gives the example of telling a lie as the only way to protect a friend's secret that you promised to keep and that the person asking has no right to know (59). Another example is speeding when you are trying to get to the hospital to have a baby. 

Rules of Strategy

Rules of strategy are not absolute. They are relative. They are practical and are made for playing the game well. Following strategy rules is usually a good idea, but Smedes note that "smart players [...] know when to break them" (60). These are rules like how to set up your marriage and spend time with your spouse, what's important or not important about observing the Sabbath, and punting on the 4th down, to name a few of his examples. These are "Good rules, all of them, but only because and as long as they help us live well the life we ought to live" (63). 

Rules of Propriety 

Example: Driving slow in the left lane! Don't do it. Rules of propriety are not moral rules, and they don't change the nature of the game, but they are a part of how the game is played. They're kind of like rules of etiquette, taste, or cultural norms. They do vary from place to place and they change through time. Laxity in some of the rules of propriety, like the use of profanity or violence, is more likely to negatively affect morality than laxity in other areas. 

Summary

So, which rules should we care about the most? If you haven't guessed it by now, it's the rules of the first two categories. Following these rules leads to goodness in our lives and others' lives (65). Next time, we'll learn about looking at the consequences of choices to determine their goodness.