Building Thankfulness in Kids 

Posted by Katie J. 

Like every parent, we have regular battles with our kids’ self-centered perspectives and struggle daily to teach them to share. But to my surprise and delight, they are also regularly and genuinely grateful children. I often wonder how this happened. They say thank you when I fill up their dinner plates, when I’ve changed their diaper (not always, but really!), or when I’ve retrieved a toy. At least once every day, out of the blue, my two year old will say, “I’m thankful for you, Mommy!”

I’ve spent enough time around children as a teacher to know that this is not the norm.  Instead of gratitude, hard-working caregivers are often met with complaints and demands that follow unrealistic expectations. I first realized that this doesn’t have to be the case while teaching in Indonesia. After each class, every student would say “Thank you, Miss!” while walking out the door. Woah. I was blown away. 

And so I’ve known it is possible to have thankful kids. But I am well aware that it is the sheer mercy and grace of God that I get to witness my little toddlers saying “thank you.”

What's working for us 

Although we are far from perfect (or even good?) parents, I think there are a few things we’ve done to help the kids run with God’s grace.

• Establish a routine of naming what we’re thankful for each day. We pair evening snack time with the question, “What are you thankful for today?”
• Deliberately notice and thank the kids for their contributions to family life. Whenever they “help”, even if it’s just “washing” a sweet potato for dinner, I try to remember to speak a sincere thank you.
• I don’t rush saying “you’re welcome.” I want them to know that I appreciate their thank you and it touches me, so I look them in the eye and smile.
• I try to model real, spontaneous gratitude. If it hits me that someone is wonderful, or the weather is beautiful, or a prayer was answered — I say it out loud. So much of their thought process develops by imitating ours, and I want gratitude embedded in it.

Today at snack time the kids are thankful for Daddy and stink bugs. 

There are countless reasons why I want to help my children cultivate thankfulness, but the one that is lodged deepest in my heart is that thanksgiving is a proper way to come into the presence of God. The Psalms are full of this idea. We rightly come before the Lord when our hearts are overflowing with thanks, and I want my children to experience the joyful presence of God.

My prayer for our family and for anyone reading this today is that our moments, turned into habits, of sincere thankfulness will well up into a joy-filled, real and present relationship with Jesus. No Covid quarantine or isolation can touch that!