Elimination Communication Primer

 

Posted by Katie J 

 

I am writing this post on our fifth wedding anniversary. With babysitters in short supply and Covid restrictions in place, we’re hunkered down at home. But wow, are we celebrating, because today is also the day that our son has conquered potty training! (Cue confetti, dance party, fancy food delivered, and of course, gummy bears for the boy.)

We started potty training exactly 7 days ago, and this week has been grueling. Many people would say that we’re crazy, or that he’s too young, or that we might traumatize him. While I don’t deny that we’re crazy or that toileting is the perfect opportunity for traumatic experiences, I’ve also done a lot of reading about a variety of perspectives on potty training. There are so many ways for parents to help their child gain independence with the toilet, and I’m a cheerleader of anyone lovingly using whatever method works for their family situation.

 

For us,“elimination communication” was intriguing. I heard about EC while pregnant with my first baby. I read about parents around the world and throughout history who, without the luxury of fancy diapers, have trained their young babies out of necessity. My eyes were opened to the marketing campaign of American disposable diaper companies who since the 1950s have been suggesting that it’s best to leave children in diapers for as long as possible so that they’re “very ready.” The fire in me was lit. 

 

This small potty became the boy's preferred elimination location. Easy for a toddler to use himself, and fun to have the responsibility of dumping and flushing the pee after a success.

The Basics

 

Fast forward to today’s celebration. My happy sigh of relief comes from recognizing that he’s mastered the basics of elimination communication. Very simply*:

1. He recognizes his urge “to go,” 
2. He communicates the need with us
3. We help him eliminate in the proper place

There are all kinds of ways to get to this point. When parents start with very young infants (sometimes just 3 months old), the job of recognizing that the baby is about to eliminate falls completely with the parents. Through keen, instinctual, and constant observation, parents begin to read the baby’s signals and can then help them eliminate in a chosen location (there are very tiny potties). Eventually the child is able to recognize her own body signals and communicate elimination needs with the parent.

Our Journey 

 

We applied the EC ideas to potty training our 21 month old son (pretty old for EC norms). He had plenty of language for toileting, but I knew that disposable diapers hampered him from understanding the sensations of elimination. So, like crazy people, we just went totally diaper free. We watched him like hawks and asked him a lot of questions about his need to go and what his body was feeling. There were a lot of messes. No shame, only discussion and a calm change of clothing. 

“What did that feel like? Anything left? Next time you can put it in the potty!”  And heaps of praise when he got it right. (We called a grandparent every time he had a victory, which was fun all around.)

His learning and transformation was amazing to behold. After a day or two he began to hold his bladder. He was gaining control. 

And then he started to talk about peeing a split second before it happened. He was recognizing the urge to go. 

And finally, about 6 days in, he started to consistently tell us he needed to eliminate with enough time to get to the potty. 

Cheering You On

 

No matter how or when you go about potty training, if I heard your story I’d be in your corner. You can do it! Your kid can do it! The reward for the intense energy and attention parents have to give to potty training is witnessing their child develop confident independence — and knowing your diaper bill just disappeared.

 

*There are piles of expert advice on EC. I know that my simplification and application misses so many details, but I think that these basics can be helpful to anyone's potty training journey.